Hi! This is my (queenitsy's) writing journal. If you are looking for anything about me and my life, or general fannish squeeing, that's probably where you want to be. This is where I post fic. It's also where I post about writing, both fanfic and original stuff. A lot of it is very self-indulgent and pretentious. I only really write about the original stuff under friendslock -- the only stuff that's friendslocked -- but I will friend back anyone who friends this journal.

I just mistyped "Chad's frat" as "Chad's fart." Frankly, I'm surprised it's the first time I've made that typo.

Carry on.

I posted the meme over at my main journal, but am putting the results up here. harmonyangel requested I do commentary for "Better Than Nothing," which was my first ever Newsies fic. So that's six years old, damn. Anyway, it's unrequited Blink/Mush.

( Better Than Nothing )

The rest of this post can be summed up with the following: ( Whiiiiiiiiiiiine. )

There will be at least one more frat!verse fic. I have bunnies for three. Now the question: to do them in chronological order or not? Because they take place with one in December, one during winter break, and one on Valentine's. But the Valentine's one is a) the one I have the most plot for; and b) the longest. So I should work on it. But will it make sense without context?!

I mean, it's not like I worry about that at eydw_universe, but still. Coherence would be a good thing, no?

So this is obviously not comprehensive or 100% accurate -- there are, of course, bits and pieces that I never recorded in my weekly word counts, and everything was rounded, and this assumes no typos as I was doing the calculations. But according to the weekly word counts I've posted all year, in 2008...

- I wrote a total of 246,950 words

- That's an average of 4,749 words a week

- Discounting the weeks I didn't report and the few with the report of 0, the average is 6,173 words per week I actually wrote

- Further broken down, it's an average of 678 words per day (counting all days of the year, not just recorded)

- When I started the year, it was with a goal of 10,000 words/weekly. Obviously this did not happen. I succeeded only four times all year, if my counts are correct

- But! I wrote at least 5,000 words in 29 weeks, and at least 8,000 words in 12 of those weeks

- Generally speaking, I go on productivity spurts where I'll have a few super productive weeks, then taper off with a few semi-produtive weeks, and a few not-very-productive weeks

- My most productive phases were also my most fannish -- with a very brief exception when I was working hardest on my novel

Conclusions?

-- I write a lot, I think.

-- Or so it seems until you look at the daily average and see it's less than 1,000 a day.

-- While I rarely reached 10,000 words a week, I really stopped using that as my goal pretty early on; but keeping track was still an incentive to be productive.

-- I still don't have a damn manuscript to show for it.

Goals for 2009?

--- Finish a damn manuscript. Like, finish-finish, as in, actually manage to get something out on submission.

--- Maybe aim for a slightly-more-reasonable 7,000 words/week, which works out to only 1,000/daily (or, realistically, 1,400/daily plus two days off).

--- Except when I concentrate on editing, in which case I will not feel bad about not having a high output.

Okiedokie, then. Happy (slightly early) New Year, y'all!

So, um, does anyone else do this thing where you get an idea that is obviously going nowhere and isn't really about anything, but is so enjoyable and/or stuck in your head that you can't resist it, and then you write 16 pages over the course of a day and a half, even though you have no intent to continue it, finish it, or show it to anyone?

Just me?

Neat.

(For me, by the way, this ranges from a scene or two -- basically a couple pages -- which I'll write down just to get it out of my head, up to... Uh... 60 pages in a week, once? Gosh.)

In related news, I am really bad at focusing on a single project for an extended period of time...

I finished the draft of Ryan's Thee Rules, finally! It clocks in at 30,000 words and 60 pages. (Compare this to Strategy, which is a mere 10k. Ha!)

It needs a lot of work. But maybe the first chapter will be out around the end of the weekend. God bless vacation.

I just accidentally mistyped "Ryan's condo" as "Ryan's condom."

That is all.

I just wanted to note -- I kind of felt something click with the novel last night, at least with regards to working on it. In that I enjoyed it for the first time in months. I'm still frustrated by the loss of 15,000 words, but for the first time since June it's back in my head in a way where I feel like I can do this.

Last night thinking about it (and pondering my next project -- 'cause yeah, I need a next project at this stage...) kept me up most of the night. On the one hand, hooray! I love feeling like I can do this. On the other hand I am exhausted. That's just how the cookie crumbles, I guess.

"Your [Rachel's] novels will be about emotions. Mine will be about the midwestern cities with the highest elevation."

Worldbuilding is FTW!

So I've been slowly rereading the Saga over the last few days, and mostly enjoying the heck out of it. I mean, doing a lot of wincing and giggling, because it is so very, very awkward, but that's to be expected (seeing as how most of it is over six years old. Whaaaat? When did this happen?).

But perhaps the most amusing -- now, I have never been and accept that I never will be much of an artist. That's why I'm very glad that, even back in the day, I realized Journey lyrics were by far the best way to express a character's pain.

*giggle*

You know, I'm pretty sure there was a time when my writing brainpower was used for plotting actual fics and not just mentally choreographing threesomes.

...

I should probably write this while I'm still inspired.

So we're watching Empire, because...so god! And the fact that I think the exchange between Han and Leia at the beginning ("What, afraid I'd leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?" "I"d sooner kiss a wookie!" "I can arrange that! He needs a good kiss!") is the most romantic dialogue ever written says a lot about why I write the kinds of relationships I do. By which I mean kind. Because there's really only the one.

OTP 4evah.

Yesterday, I was talking with harmonyangel and poisonivory about writing. This is not exactly a huge surprise. Jess made a point that almost made me double-take, though. I am a very determined writer, in that I can make myself write and be productive pretty much no matter what. (I don't always, but I can, and often do). I don't, however, apply that same skill to editing. Which is where my big block is: I have a couple of manuscripts shoved in drawers over here, but none of them are good enough to submit to anything. And none of them are getting any better, because I just ignore them and pretend they don't exist.

( more )

Current project list, ( fannish and original )

I think that's it. Uh... anyone want to teach me how to edit a novel? 'Cause I got nothin'.

Obviously I had writerly karma going during Nano, as I cleared 50,00- with no problem. I can write when I force myself. So I should do that. I'm thinking about doing something on my own (unless others would care to join me!), along the lines of 10,000 words a week. I think that's good, because it's slightly less than nano, and a bit looser as guidelines go -- I can take days off when needed, while still being productive. This is good.

I think I'm going to pick a project to concentrate on (or try to concentrate on), and having just reread the end of HISMSV and realized that it's really, really good (I am not modest; that fic is fantastic, or at least, the parts I wrote in the last couple years are...the parts from sophomore year, not so much. Ahahahaha. Anyway,) I think I'm going to go with Dear Mom (the vaguely HISMSV-inspired original fic -- kid goes to summer camp and discovers he's gay, otherwise it's fairly different). You know, once I get those insane plot issues (I don't have one) out of the way.

As I contemplate I think I'm going to write things down and post them here, filtered. If you're interested in being on the filter, drop a comment. If'n I do this, I'll probably resume posting regular word counts, too; putting things out in public is a good motivator.

Self indulgence, yay!

I've been feeling very good about my chances of getting published lately. This is fairly remarkable, considering that I've only written a few scattered pages in the last month or so, and the last original thing I tackled (that wasn't cowritten) was senior year of college...coming up on three years ago now. Which is CRAZY. (What have I been doing?!!)

But right now...I dunno, I feel optimistic. I think doing Nano will really help me, because I need to get back into the habit of writing daily, but that's my main worry now. I fee like, as arrogant as it may seem, the quality of my writing is publishable. I read a lot of YA books, and my writing isn't so off that. I have some serious weaknesses, but honestly, I can think of some stuff I've read differently that's definitely not as good as my stuff.

( So much more. )

Very relatedly, the final piece of my general plot for Nano fell into place today. I sat down and wrote a fake query letter for the thing, and when I got the the end of what I knew happened, I felt dazed, and my fingers continued to hit keys, and then I was staring at a concluding arch that actually ties the plot and subplot (and I barely knew I had a subplot!) together. I mean, I don't know how it happens (like I said, I have a huge fear of not being able to tie everything together well), but I know what it is. Which is awesome. (And I feel good about the story itself, and the two characters I have; I feel good about it as something that can work as an actual manuscript after polishing. And this is without having written the damn thing yet.)

I am so excited, y'all.

Hmm, so, after a long period of trying to withdraw from fandom, I went on a crazy fandom kick; now it's starting to calm down a bit and I feel some guilt for not keeping up with the fics I started reading...but I refuse to feel guilt over fandom, which I do for fun. But I am still enjoying writing Gents & Dames; it's going pretty smoothly, actually. Not as quickly as it was at first, but well enough.

What I'm not progressing on is...anything original*. A few months ago I had a brief spurt of productivity on the Underground, during which I came up with some generally good ideas, but when I sat down to actually try an write the beginning of the third draft--the first real rewriting I've done, and the first time I'd tried to write the characters in two years, basically--it really didn't work out, and I haven't touched it since. (Sigh.)

As for Dear Mom (the gay summer camp story), it's kind of frozen in progress. I realize what the problem is (I hate my secondary protagonist and wish for her to be hit by a truck, which makes writing about her impossible). Basically I have to scrap that entire subplot, but I don't know with what to replace it (if anything). I want there to be a subplot, because I actually want there to be female characters, but I have nothing for them to do and I don't want them to be tacked on for the sake of being...there. Picky of me, I know. Sigh.

Last week I was struck briefly but intensely with an urge to pull out one of the fantasy stories I started and dropped in high school, and see if I could clean up the plot. Not the first time I've tried, though it was the beginning of a much more radical makeover. But I'm kind of frozen with that, too. I think I can make the main character less loathesome (another case where hating the character kind of prevented me from writing it), which would be excellent, since I really liked the setup and her sidekick. But man, the thought of doing serious worldbuilding and plotting and outlining is suddenly really intimidating. I don't know if I'm lazy or just haven't done it in awhile or what (the last serious round of this I did was the Underground, which was two full years ago now, yeesh), but...man. Maybe I'm just not pumped enough about the project?

And then I had an idea for a cute, more contemporary fantasy story (also possibly for a younger age set?) a few days ago. I think it would work well, if I could figure out what the hell I'd do with it. I have a very vague setup, an even vauger protagonist, and...that's it. Oyyyyy.

I know I shouldn't complain; I know in terms of writing that I've gotten a lot more accomplished than a lot of people my age, but I still feel like I should be further along somehow, and better at this. And kind of like I've lost something, but I don't know what. Now that I care about the quality, writing is way harder, it takes a lot more planning and work, and goes more slowly. Mehhhh.

*Okay, not quite true; poisonivory and I did finish the first draft of Tart! And we're working on making it less puma-rific in draft two, which, while kind of slow going, is certainly no slower than the first draft was. I think it helps that we have a better feel for the characters and tone now. Also some idea of wtf is going on. Also, we somehow went from "vague concept" to "completed first draft" in about a year. But aside from that.

My brain is not cooperating with me. It is screaming at me, SCREAMING, that I should do Nano. It is not, for the record, doing anything like providing me with a plot or characters or even a vague idea, but yeah. I sit on the subway and stare at the wall and my brain yells, "Nano! Do it! You know you want to! You do! Do it! C'mooooon, all the cool kids are doing it. You always feel left out when you don't. Hey, you did Nano before Nano was cool. Don't you miss that? You do, don't you. Doooooo iiiiiiit. Do it or I'll sing Who Let the Dogs Out? in your head alllllllll day. Neither one of us needs that...c'mon. Do it. DO it."

( AAAAAAAAAAAAAARG. )

I think I think too much.

I actually got something concrete done on a project I want to focus on, and it's writing that I'm not ashamed of. Go me!